JohnLBP's blog

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Walking with the Wound

From the depths of our deepest wounds emerge our greatest gifts. Similarly, contained within the fate we were given, emerges a destiny when we choose to work with the fate. However, destiny cannot emerge until our fate is submitted to. That means standing back and looking at everything that was given and has happened and asking ourselves where the opportunities for self development and self healing lie. If we come from lack, then discovering the fullness of our being lies as an opportunity before us, if we come from conflict, then peace and reconciliation lies before us, if we come from abandonment and despair, then connection to all life lies before us. Whatever the lack, its opposite awaits us. Therefore the difficult and challenging aspects of our fate give us the opportunity to springboard towards a destiny of our own choosing instead of bemoaning that which is less than desirable.

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Freedom from Bondage

Very often when we approach Family Constellation we work, we do so from a wounded place. Perhaps we did not receive the love and nurturance we needed, or perhaps there was even abuse that was verbal, physical or sexual. These can be very deep wounds that have a deep impact on how we live our lives and our current relationship, be that with partners, our children or friends.

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The Courage to Transform Fate into Destiny

When it comes to healing on any level, the most important quality or virtue is courage. In order not to re-live our personal, family, national or ethnic history we must have the courage to face our past, or indeed to examine what we are creating in the present.

Without courage, all other qualities we consider virtues, such as love, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, kindness, charity and understanding are only temporary states of being for none of them can exist in our world unless they are supported by courage. Likewise, courage does not exist unless fear is present. Fear of judgment, fear of exposure, the fear of being shamed and the fear of being undefended.

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One of my favourite quotes

This is by Phil Bosmans, a Dutch poet. Here it is in English and Dutch:

'Zoals een bloem de zon nodig heeft om bloem te worden, zo heeft een mens liefde nodig om mens te worden'

'Just as a flower needs the sun to become a flower, a person needs love to become human'

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Courage

When it comes to healing on any level, the most important quality or virtue is courage. In order not to re-live our personal, family, national or ethnic history we must have the courage to face our past.

Without courage, all other qualities we consider virtues, such as love, forgiveness, acceptance, tolerance, kindness, charity and understanding are only temporary states of being for none of them can exist in our world unless they are supported by courage. Likewise, courage does not exist unless fear is present.

www.johnlpayne.com

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Fate & Destiny

In our quest for healing, there is much gold to be found in the depths of our wounding. It is within these wounds that our greatest gifts may be found. Each of us seeks unhindered contact with the other without defences and masks, each of us seeks to live from our true essence – an essence in which love, friendship and intimate relationships can flow freely and in which contact with ourselves can simply be.