Erin Minta's blog

Missed last night. Remembered. Forgot. Remembered. Forgot. Sound familiar? This is why I committed to consecutive days - so I would remember, and correcting form forgetting would be easier somehow.

I was going to write about this: How often I wake up and feel the lurch back to things as they are and then I had been once again existing in the field of the imaginal - if only, what if, my mind and imagination committed to a made up world - not totally, and not crazily, not believing it - even still, the part within that was doing this, was really deeply hoping, and my how difficult it could be to live in the real for that part of me.

It seems, in this life, I went between how things should be and I how I wished they could be, back and forth, back and forth. What a journey, and so much pain in landing in real life, the pain being in the difference between the two existences and also in getting into the skin that allows this real one to be, because without it's never any fun.

it is near midnight and I forgot about this commitment I had made to blogging. I remembered it earlier but I was busy being with my daughter. Then she asked me to do something more with her and, as she is a teenager ASKING, there is no way I would say no. Then we fell asleep on the couch watching a show she found on Hulu, her legs pinning me down, purposely. She does that, pins me when she wants me to stay. She is much bigger than I am now and strong so it works, and I let it. I used to think of her as my spiritual inheritance - all the spiritual work I have ever done redoubled itself and brought me her. I have no idea of course if things work this way. Probably I am just lucky and she is a form that takes.

It's too soon for me to feel so left behind by the technological changes in the world, the way I saw my parents react to the onset of technology in the late 80s, early 90s. They were older then than I am now. I have to brave this, I have to move into this world - Facebook (like); LinkedIn (not so much); Texting (began cause I have a teenager, but now I find it handy!) Twitter (just too much, even with only 144 characters!), and now, blogging! You'd think I would have taken to this immediately, given the number of emails I (used) to send, which was less than the number of letters I used to write if you can believe it. (I had letter writing days set aside for the purpose of it.)